A Man and his Penguin

Tech Stupidities from Bash.org

I just read these on Bash.org. Priceless!

<Eticam> I work at a computershop
<Eticam> And you don't wanna know how f***in' STUPID some customers are
<Eticam> I get questions like:
<Eticam> "What is better, a scanner or printer?"
<Eticam> "I'm looking for a serious mouse"
<Eticam> "My internet doesn't work" "What kind of connection do you have?" "Windows XP"
<Eticam> "The mouse you sold me is incomplete" "Ma'am, it's meant to have no cable"
<Eticam> I even had a customer who brought his pc for technical service
<Eticam> "My dog humped the pc and had an orgasm in the power supply, and it short circuited" "how's the dog?" "Don't know, my wife took him to the vet"
<Eticam> really, one day I'm gonna shoot myself in front of a customer....

And while you're in the mood for a laugh, I used "O'Reilly Maker" to make a funny book cover in the style of those O'Reilly computer reference books: http://www.oreillymaker.com/link/14581/bashorg/

Well, who do you THINK makes Samsung?

I was talking to a guy today about LCD TVs, and I mentioned that the Samsung TVs are the most popular ones we sell. So he asks "Who makes Samsung?".

You'd be surprised, but lots of people ask this incredibly dumb question, no matter what the brand is. And it's not just TVs - people have even asked "Who makes Nobel?".

The ABSOLUTE ONLY time that there's an unusual answer to the question "Who makes brandname?" is when you're talking about the Electrolux family. There you've got Simpson, Westinghouse, Volta, Kelvinator, Dishlex and Chef; all of which are made by Electrolux. Even then, does it matter?

Who makes Samsung?

SAMSUNG DO!

---------------
A new one from the files of anti-plasma FUD.

"No, I don't want a plasma, they give off too much radiation."

Oh right! I was wondering why I was growing a third arm. I'll just call Panasonic Spare Parts and order a geiger counter.

EDIT: I just took a look online for "plasma TV radiation" and I found that it is indeed a myth-in-circulation. Now I wish that I'd told her that it was a myth.

Apple: "What's this 'security' thing we keep hearing about?

From the vaults of oh-my-god-i-can't-believe-they're-that-fucking-dumb:

I saw a message on the Cnet forums:

There was an article about how the last firmware update changed a few things on the phone. One of the most important was that the user is no longer running as Root, they have their own account.

I've described how Apple continually tries to bypass Unix-like security. I've described that Apple doesn't know buggery about good security practice. But I'd never have believed that they would do this.

For the last couple of months, EVERY SINGLE PIECE of code, data, third-party-programs, SMSes etc on every iPhone in the world, has had unrestricted access to everything on these machines. HASN'T ANYONE TOLD APPLE THAT YOU NEVER RUN AS ROOT?

It's all very well saying "We're legends, we've pushed a firmware update that makes you more secure by not running as root!". But they should NEVER have made it all run as root anyway! Apple may have tried to ensure no third party code on the iPhone, but didn't it think that someone could have come up with an exploit to get viruses on the iPhone? Running as much as possible as a limited user account would protect iPhones and iPhone owners from exploits. Running as a limited user account would also largely protect iPhones against badly-written Apple code that might cause problems.

Apple is disgusting. The iPhone has a full Unix-like security system, completely bypassed. Didn't Apple learn anything from Windows XP? Don't ANY of Apple's engineers actually know ANYTHING about security? I'm no professional, but at least I'm not a fucking dumbass enough to run my entire computer as root. I'm also not idiot enough to assume that nobody is going to target my computer, and that nobody is going to be able to get past my network and computer's defenses to install their own software.

I have to go for a walk now so I calm down.

First of a new category

I'm currently reading the Computer Stupidities website, and I thought I'd relate some "Technology Stupidities" that I've heard.

Customer: I'm interested in the Sony Bravia XBR series.
Me: That's not a problem, but you do know that the only differences between the X and the XBR are that the XBR is more expensive, and the frame around it looks different?
Customer: My son told me I should get the XBR series, because it's got a faster motor.

(This is wrong on so many levels; firstly, the "Bravia Engine" that he was referring to is a picture enhancement chip on all models; secondly, the thing that is "faster" on the higher models is the frame rate; and thirdly the X and the XBR have exactly the same frame rate).

Friend: Whenever I try to check my e-mail, the same three e-mails come in. I think I've got a virus.

Grandad: Can you teach me how to send air mail?

Customer: Will I need to buy a digital DVD player?

Errr... what do you think the first D stands for?

Tanja: Can you install this virus for me?

(I think I've mentioned that one a lot :-)

Boss: You-bun-too. It sounds a bit like an African word.

Me: It *is* an African word!

Gruff lady: My set-box turns off every afternoon at 2:15!

I dive into the settings and find that the "off-timer" has been set, so I disable it.

Me: For some reason, there was an off-time set; that is, at some point someone has told the set-top-box to turn off at that particular time. I've disabled the off-time now, so you shouldn't encounter the problem again.

Gruff lady: Show me how to do that.

I talk her through the menu system; press Menu, then press the down arrow until it gets to System, then press Enter, then press the down arrow until it gets to Time Settings, then press Enter, then press the down arrow twice, then press the right arrow, then press the down arrow, then press what time you want it to be, then press Enter.

Gruff lady: I must've pressed a wrong button.

I resisted the urge to tell this very rude old lady that she would have to press 18 wrong buttons in order to set the off-timer.

Customer: I heard Channel 10 will start broadcasting in digital on Sunday.

We get a lot of people who want to buy something to be able to watch one show while recording another, in High Definition digital, and output the result to DVD. When we tell them that such a machine doesn't exist yet, they tell me that they'll "keep looking". Its non-existence doesn't necessarily mean that they can't buy one?